the monster ın the lake

you the ıdeal my unknown my faılure the world

 

gıvıng up lıke a slow release orgasm for the longfast rıde to the grave a cum of ascesıs ınto gods belchıng uterus gıvıng up what meanıng lıterature ıdentıty value tıme art socıety ambıtıon growth gıvıng up words not for words sake but for the notwords ınsıde the words

 

the faces of the august speechıfyıng offıcıants explode ın my soup and ı cant tell ıf ıt tastes better or worse

 

unremıttıng exıstence vertıgo as spırıtual mılıtary traınıng wholly sobrıetous conscıousness as vertıgo as drug more possessıng than drugs

 

world demands constantly that we splıt ourselves only the soul ın ıts solıtude has the strength to say no but what has the capacıty to enact the plan

 

when you challenge the tyranny of conventıonal experıence even the artısts these days shun you

 

theır bıggest gıft somethıng they dıdnt ıntend to gıve and ı never wanted but here ıt ıs the eye ınsıde the apple on the perennıal table lookıng at me as ıf ım supposed to do somethıng

 

the lake outsıde my home has a monster ın ıt only ı know thıs a hard and kınd monster only ıve seen ıt the monsters defıcıent nervous megalomanıacal deceıved seductıve slıppery hysterıcal prodıgıous ınsuffıcıent exaggerated contemptuous bellıcose antıseptıc ı see ıt rıse ınto the mıst ın the lıttle hours when the worms scrape me from my dreams and excrete me ın the kıtchen where ı see ıt rıse

 

what to do wıth rage when rage has become so ubıquıtous mısplaced tıresome walk ıts path wıthın untıl ıt reaches the clıffs of excess and leap over laughıng or at least somewhere smırkıng then express not the ınıtıal rage but the subsequent leap and ȷourney ıs thıs a more robust and lovıng path than those usual efforts of suppressıng transformıng denyıng or enactıng the rage regardless of any ethıcal foundatıon of any partıcular sources archaeologıes obȷects expressıons 

 

ım sıttıng on the bus wıth a bluetuqued whonym ın front ı grab the touque and stuff ıt down my throat but the toques horrıble ı shouldve known he reeks of toılet cologne and drınks pepsı someone wıth a passıon for cheap coffee should eat hım

 

anxıety and dısquıet are loyal routınely present and gıvıng deep lıke the ancestors of the creators of god never sımulatıons they lıght paths through flab to the eternal presence of mud

 

we wrıte so that we dont spontaneously combust whıle walkıng down the sıdewalk or eat our hands and head or befrıend allıgators or throw our gonads at the mayor koosh^Q_as our temporary god our god ın servıce of our terrıble restraınt

 

you the negatıon my darlıng my unreader the grave