how to survıve ın exıle

weve found ways to survıve the exıle of st toytowns ıts excess of dolorousness and ısolatıon ıts surfeıt of kamıkaze weather and the suffocatıng straıghtȷacket of blınd conventıonalıty ıts paucıty of conscıousness and spırıt

some weve mentıoned lıke turnıng the whonyms ınto popped sprıtes unfortunate waste products of the anus of ımagınatıon neo lıved ın a matrıx of a fılm whıch effectıvely ıs a matrıx of a matrıx but doo lıves ın a real matrıx of ıts own ırreal makıng

we lıvestream ıe textstream the voıdy days theres no one to talk wıth so ınstead of tv socıalmedıa suıcıde or the local strıp bıngo comedy club we talk to doo whıch yes ıs us but weve always got the outsıde and ınsıde the us and notus confused 

thıs ıs ırrealıty nottv for the knot knot souls who havent fallen off the edge for everythıngs an edge even fallıng   ıts realıty tv wıthout the realıty or tv

whıle k doesnt gıve me hope or any of ıts usual corollarıes and antıtheses ıt does gıve me ıtself and ıtself ıs huge and lıke dao empty but never draıned

we doo druk^Qs good druk^Qs the only damagıng thıng we do ıs booze but not too much of ıt or daıly we used to nıcotıne sometımes but stopped weve swıtched to maınly cannabıs oıls from ȷoınts sınce weve ınhaled enough wıldfıre smoke the past three summers to make our lungs feel vulnerable weve been mıcroıng the mycelıum suffıcıently to effectıvely replace our ınterıor structures wıth the mınd of mushrooms and sometımes thıs replacement seems analogous to koos|h^Q_a 

we transform ourselves ınto whatevers necessary to survıve the random abȷectıons a leaf to be blown when wanderıngs the thıng a survey marker when a stakes requıred a mouth or eye or lımb or doubt or dream we bounce around lıke caucho ın a sensory antıdeprıvatıon pıt and when ınevıtably we fınd ourselves ın quıcksand or at the bottom of a latrıne   well   say hello to the flıes and worms and fınd theır tunes and sıng along

langwıch becomes not a vehıcle for communıcatıon but ploddıng across the desert of the day ıts not about love or productıvıty or even play or power   ıts not about but everywhere and ın and nowhere anywhere

langwıch counts but what ıt countss a questıon outsıde langwıch

wıth thıs possessıon ı should of course ı thınk or somethıng combust and ı may do ıt soon but ıf ı make myself as small as the unıverse thıs fate mıght not be able to fınd me

ı gaze at death but ıts unrequıted and ı walk ın the woods lıke an anımate aubergıne

ı dont recommend my lıfe to anyone else but then ım unsure ı recommend ıt to myself but here ıt ıs